The Way He Is

My truck has no heater.

It is like -1,008,009 degrees outside.

I get cold faster then a NASCAR driver at Talladega when it's 50 degrees so at -1,008,009 degrees I'm hopeless.

I also have a hard time putting warmth over cute, i try i really do try, but cute wins every time dang it. In other words i was wearing little red flats with no socks, yes it was cold, but they are super cute! lol

It was late.

I had to drive home.

I had to get gas.

yuck........

Then he came to the rescue like he always does, to take care of me like he always does because that is the way he is. He bundled me up by putting one of his jackets over mine and putting his gloves on me. He had a random spare sock in his truck he put on my driving foot then he took off his own socks and put them on my feet. lol and yes I did look like a poofy snow bunny! He then put me in his truck with the heater going full blast and had me follow him to a gas station. There he pumped my gas and put air in my low tires while i sat and warmed up in his truck. After I had gotten warm all through he tucked me into my truck with his hoodie, because that's the way he is. I made it all the way home without my teeth chattering because of his abilities to take care of me down to every last detail.

He is amazing, that's just the way he is.

I know this may seem like a rather mushy post, but I just can't get over how well he takes care of me, in big things, in small things, in all things. He is a wonderful protector, a thoughtful care giver, an anointed provider, and a very very safe place to be. There is nowhere I feel safer then with him. That's the way he is...

I honor you darling, you are a mighty mighty man! Thank you for the socks;)

Lesson of Love under 4 ft....

Club day, the first House of Faith club back in the new school year. The weather's perfect. I pull up, walk into that yard and a shrill voice screams Sara and I remember what love is.....

Oh how I missed the Belaire House of Faith club kids, or as I refer to them, my kids. I cried the last time I saw them in may and haven't stopped thinking about them all summer, I couldn't wait for this day to come. Then there it is, one runs up and I’m on my knees wrapping them in a hug, then it's 6 and they're all over me and knocking me down but nothing could make me happier, in fact I couldn't hug them all tight enough. Their eyes where shining with laughter, probably more because they're happy the school day is over and it's funny that they knocked me over, more then because they are happy to see me, but I could have cared less. I just wanted them with me.

Looking back on it it makes me think. I know every one of their names, I know the color of their eyes, the position of the scars on their faces, how to make them laugh when they're sad or got hurt and how their little personalities work. I can tell you what funny things they said the first day they were there and how they've changed over the years I’ve known them. Them, well a lot of them who've been coming for at least a year so far had to be reminded of my name (especially on the male side of things) lol but I could have cared less, they could have called me betty for all I cared I just wanted to love them, talk to them, laugh and play with them. I was reminded of how my Lord loves me, He doesn't care how many times He has to remind me of His name. How many times He has to teach me the same lesson over and over. He doesn't care if I can't pay attention long enough to know the answer. He just wants to be near me, see my face, watch my eyes laugh. He wants to tickle and hold me and teach me about Himself. He wants me to run across the yard arms wind open and sling myself at Him with reckless abandon even if I haven't a clue in the world what His name is. He wants me to be able to jump into His arms without shame or apprehension simply because I remember He loved me. That is all that mattes. It was all the mattered when little Matthew who, even though he has known me for two years still has to ask "now what’s your name again," ran halfway across the yard in socked feat and slung himself at me and wrapped his little arms tight as he could around my neck because no matter what, that boy knows I love him.

And what is my love compared to the love He has for us....

They’re all under four feet tall but they teach me more about what it’s like to truly be loved and love the Father then anyone else could. I’ve never loved like I love these kids, that may sound put on, and I’m sorry if it does, but it’s so very true. I can’t wait til next Thursday!

"but sir I didn't mean to speed"

These 16 hilarious Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket! ."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

If you work where I work and spend all day reading tickets this is even funnier lol
Have a little sunshine!

It doesn’t just happen…..

So last night was one of those moments, one of those “before a big change” moments. Wyatt and Gunnar had been loading some pipe out at Wyatt’s river place and I went out after they were done to hang out for awhile. We sat on Wyatt’s truck and watched the sun go down and the stars come out, we talked and talked. We talked about nothing and about everything and fought over who had claimed shooting stars first. It was a sort of random, wonderful, and melancholy moment all at the same time. High school is over, Gunnar will soon leave for College Station, we’ll start college here, things will change and moments like that wouldn’t just happen very many times more. But this wasn’t really meant to be about “moments before a big change” it’s tempting, my fingers really want to start typing out mellow drama laced with quotes from Shakespeare and tid bits of Victorian poetry. But I shall spare you the agony and save that for another day. Anyway I have been making a long rather spastic introduction to my point, yes I have a point..

We had a lot of good conversations but something that made me think was one we had about girlfriends. When you’re sitting under the stars, or anywhere really, with two guys, girls come up, it just happens. Another guy had told Wyatt, and I quote, “Not all of us can find our dream girl on the first try, she’s pretty, she can cook, and she’s a good girl” (please note the first two qualities it takes to be a dream girl.) Yes I am the dream girl mentioned there *wrinkles nose and grins* and yes it made me feel very honored as well as all warm and fuzzy inside, no Walker I haven’t been drinking, but it also made me think. Now unless I was knocked unconscious in the process, I don’t remember just dropping into Wyatt’s lap out of the sky like a stray comet, although my heart may remember it that way sometimes (my heart also remembers trekking across miles of North American wilderness with seven children, flirting my way across enemy lines as a female confederate spy, and LOVING to read the dictionary when I was eight, obviously none of this happened and I just pat my heart and say poor dramatic thing…..) Since I didn’t drop like a flaming piece of space matter, what did happen? Well it just so happens he did it, he won me.

I met him at a YMCA fifth graders football game, I thought he was tall, I thought he had wonderful eyes, I thought he was nice, I introduced him to my mom as Everett. Yes Everett. why? I don’t have any idea, why did I call him Everett, that’s not his name, in fact it’s nowhere close to his name. but that's beside the point. oh yeah, point, we were getting to that.
SO this is how we met, then about a month later we had had our second meeting. At that point I thought he was very cool, I liked his openness, his gentlemanly demeanor, his looks, and of course, his muddy boots. Oh how I liked those muddy boots. But there were no sparkles, no angel choir, no flying led, oh wait. The point is I had no intentions. We talked more after that until I realized maybe it wasn’t my intentions I should worry about so I called him and pulled, what he likes to call, the friend card. And in a way I guess I did but I honestly didn't mean to be cruel, really, I mean it, I know the cell phone will never believe me, but it's true all the same.

So then came the wait, where it would be shown if he really thought I was worth it or not. But he didn’t throw me out or run off. he said he would love to just be friends, ok well maybe he didn't say he would *love* it but he wanted to stay friends was the point. I drew the line. He got behind it. He respected it. He didn't push it. He honored it. and well the effect was not what either of us expected..

SO this is what I was thinking, yes I know we're are *just* now coming to the point.
Dream girls don't just fall out of the sky! They are won, pursued, reached for, worked and waited for.

For six months Wyatt was my friend, he made it clear that he liked me very much and would like to be more then friends, then he stepped respectfully back and honored the friendship, and even just enjoyed getting to know me, and let me tell you it floored me. I was lost. slowly he proved to me that he was indeed my dream man.... and here are some of the ways he did it.

He called my house. Yes I had had all kinds of strange boys do all kinds of strange things to try and get my number. Pretend to be my sister, stalk my little brother, send jr high kids to ask, the list goes on and on, I hadn't been very impressed so far or felt like giving out my number. not hardly. but this time was different, He called my house, he took the chance that my dad would answer. Which is exactly what happened. Then after politely saying hi and telling me who he was twice to my ninny "who is this again?" oh goodness really winning there sara. He got my number and we started texting, and he, although he wouldn't know it till much later, helped me through one of the most miserable weekends of my life.

He never pushed me, he was so patient, he waited so well. He never tried to hide his feelings yet he never made them more important then honoring my feelings and the line I had drawn. He was so open and honest from the very beginning, I was shocked, I had never seen anything like his honesty with me. He expected honesty from himself, from me, and from those around him. It was/is wonderful!!

He served me, he was an ultimate gentleman, he opened my door every single time, and still does. Just as one small example. Small stuff tells SO much about what's really going on with someone deep inside their character.

He let me be me, not the 'strong me' not the 'put together' me (as if that ever happens anyway!) but just me, the fraying one the edges, emotional, full of crazy ideas, artistic, overly compassionate, obsessed with flamboyantly colored 4 inch heels me. and not only did he let me, he seemed to like it. and to this day he still tells me he does, he's so great.

He was confident and a strong leader, even as a friend

He wiped the condensation off my water bottle at prom!!! Yes random I know but oh it meant so much, it was showing how deep he was on the inside and how he felt about me. He went and got me a bottle of water while I sat and rested, then he wiped all the condensation off the outside so I wouldn't get my hands wet, then he started opening the lid so it wasn't hard to open anymore but not all the way so I didn't have to try and juggle the bottle and the lid when he handed it to me. *blink* I'll never forget it. I was struck. starry eyed. loco. whatever you wanna call it. but that water bottle did it
**disclaimer**
Don't ever go to prom as just friends if you don't want to go any farther, it fails, it won't work, it is a bad idea! now it worked out well for me in the end, but if you don't want it to work out how it did for me, don't do it. or at least you must avoid letting him bring you a water bottle at all costs, it's lethal!
**moving on**

The point I'm making, ok so maybe it's my 90th point, is that he worked for me, he waited for me, he got to know me, he pursued me, he fought for me, he let me be me, he proved to me how he felt, he proved he was trust worthy, he was patient and caring and open and honest. He proved he was a true man, a mighty man. After a long time I decided that I knew I could trust him. this is how he "scored" a dream girl. now please don’t take this as me being prideful, that's not it at all, I wish I could explain how completely un-dream girlish I feel most of the time. I wonder more often then not how I deserved the kind of treatment he gives me…

In the end “it doesn’t just happen” Dream girls don’t fall out of the sky. They are won by champions, they “fall” into the laps of those whose laps have been carefully prepared to “catch” them.

So bottom line.

If more guys would be champions, more guys would have dream girls. End of story.

Thank you Father for my champion. He is more then I could have ever dreamed of having. And thank you for giving him those perfect blue eyes
*loses control of knee muscles*

Mossy Oakin it to Prom!

So back in January or so I had an idea to try and find a camo dress to wear to prom, I thought at first maybe i could find some satin camo and have my friend Annie help me make one but i couldn't find any fabric. I had about given up on the idea when i came across a lady in Arizona who makes camo bridesmaids dresses and puts camo accents on wedding dresses. While looking through her selection of full mossy oak camo prom and bridesmaids dresses i found this one

and quickly fell in love with it! After showing the online picture to several people and getting approval i coughed up quite a bit of money and sent in my measurements. Then came the wait, you can ask my mom and Haley waiting for it to come in the mail nearly killed me!! lol

Well it finally came and was a little big cause my figure is stupid and i have a size 2 upper body and a size 4 hips, gets annoying, lol but luckily i have a mother who is excellent at making things fit with all of her Nutcracker experience and she fixed it up beautifully:)

After it was completed i took it up the the court house where i work because i had been telling my boss about it and she really wanted to see it and after showing it to her we did a display trip around to all the offices (I work with all women and so there was lots of squealing and giggling) lol after that i went to town to pick up Wyatt's boutonniere the ladies at Shirley Floral had heard all about it and made me bring the dress in to show them!! lol it was really funny.

The day of prom we got up early and headed to Brownwood for the district 4-H rifle match and spent the day doing this...

We took third place as a team and will go state this summer!! After Penny and Clara shot their relays we headed home to get ready for Prom..

Kelli came out to see Wyatt's reaction and help me get ready....

After Wyatt dropped me off he went and got ready right away not realizing it would take me quite a bit longer to get ready then it would him and he got in his tux and got hot and started getting antsy lol he came over before i was ready so Kelli locked the doors and wouldn't let him in lol she's a lot meaner then i am. My mom felt sorry for him and let him into the kitchen haha i finally got ready and he came into the living room and i got all nervous and didn't want to come out.......

As i entered he got a really fun look on his face and said "wow" and just looked at me then gave me a big hug...

Then we had the "see it has brown on it" conversation lol and he said he really really liked my dress:) And I pointed out my head piece which he really liked as well

(My dad cut the end off an antler and polished it for me then with Missy's help i picked out some embellishments and made it into a head piece)

Then he gave me the most beautiful corsage in the world....

And I discovered i have no idea how to pin on a boutonnière lol

We then proceeded to his house to show his mom and take some pictures....

and had a little fun....

then it was off to Prom where we took lots pictures, and danced the night away:) Lots of people we impressed with our get up and we got lots of fun compliments like "your dress makes me want to go hunting" lol It was so fun! When we went to dinner we got lots of funny looks and a few thumbs up:) Wyatt said he was very pleased with how i looked and felt like a princess! Here are some pictures of the fun (the prom theme was Mardi Gras)...

All in all it was a perfect fairy tale evening:)

I am so glad i choose to wear camo and to keep it a surprise! It was so fun and i was so happy that Wyatt was pleased:) Those of you who know me you are not at all surprised that i would wear a camo formal to prom lol life is fun.....

Love in an Empty Bottle

"The sun filtered lazily through large pecan trees creating a soft leaf pattern on the grass, a little girl hummed absentmindedly as her little feet made an endless patter through the back yard. Clutching a shinny bottle in one hand she ran about picking small leaves and handfuls of grass, assembling it all in a pile. She proceeded to arrange and survey, and bottle her wares..... choosing carefully, rose pedaled finger tips plopped four pebbles into the bottle, the pebbles making tiny musical notes as they clattered down to join the greenery. Being tempted by the soft smell of honeysuckle, the curly top made her way to the other end of the garden; still humming she relieved the bush of several of its flowers. Cradling them in one hand, she skipped lightly back to her bottle and let them float in to join their plucked relations. Mind whirling with thoughts of wedding dress, being a mommy, and cooking wonderful dinners for her family, the little one added some dirt and water to her concoction with the vigor of a busy house wife, leaving little muddy hand prints on the outside of the once shinny bottle. Suddenly there was a tremulous clap *bang* whirling around the young heart leaped in fear as she noticed the terrifying storm clouds that had gathered suddenly. Then without warning pounding rains began in a torrent to berail the soft head. Dropping the now over stuffed bottle, the frightened creature ran for shelter, all the joy of the day forgotten in the terror of the storm.......

Wind whipped relentlessly around the forsaken bottle and the waters began to surround it, after awhile the bottle began to move with the vigor of the currant and was swept up under a bush where it stuck…….for months there it sat at the mercy of the weather, steam rose slowly form the tip of the bottle as the sun heated the water inside. Sucked dry, the mud on the inside hardened like rock. The greenery began to die slowly soaking up the water and rotting in the heat, the stench inside the bottle became unbearable and the different things inside completely unrecognizable………”

Have you ever noticed that understanding things is so much easier once you are looking back at them….. It is always easier to see the message written in the wheat field when you’re standing on the mountain and not lost in the field itself. This is often how I feel in my journey with the Lord. When I look back it all makes so much sense! So why the random little story about the little girl and her bottle you ask, well that is what the Lord has been teaching me about lately, bottles! I am talking about the bottle inside of me, the place I store all my unwanted pain and emotions. Ever since I was very small I have had this mindset that if I just took all the blame and pretended like nothing ever bothered me there would never be any disaster in my life. I wouldn’t have to be angry or bitter towards anyone if I just blamed myself. If you bottle the water you don’t rock the boat so to speak. There’s is only one problem with this method though….. a bottle can only hold so much. Eventually the bottle must be emptied. You can even drop it in a moment of great fear, let it roll under a bush and forget about it for years, but its still there, its rotted insides seeping over into every area of your life. So what’s the solution? Well in all obviousness the answer is simple, empty the bottle. Only one problem, unlike a bottle filled with clean water; rotten, sun baked, mud and leaves don’t really just dump out. This is where I was stuck…...

The Lord had brought to my attention my bottling habit, ok great check that one off, so I know I do it and need to stop but what about the disgusting mess I already have?? If you have ever tried to clean the inside of an old dirty bottle you know it’s not easy so when it’s a young woman’s heart it gets really painful. As many of you know the Father created me to be an emotional person (some of you are rolling your eyes with a knowing smile and others are thinking hateful things lol) so in the light of your greatest strength is also being your greatest weakness, my emotional make up made the bottling even worse. After many years of not being aware of my bottle something terrible/wonderful happened, you guessed it the bottle erupted. I mean slinging nasty rotted mud goo everywhere!!! No it wasn’t pretty. The worst part was I had no idea why I was suddenly SO angry, it just wasn’t like me, but it was simply just the rotting pile up of years of pain that overflowed. I was completely full of bad emotions didn't even I know had. This in turn produced another result, pain! My spirit was suddenly crushed. For so many years I had trained myself to not let it hurt, I put things in my bottle, blaming them on myself, deciding it didn’t matter and therefore I shouldn’t care and as a result I trained hurts in my life to bypass my heart all together and land right, curplunk, into the correctly labeled bottle. So in a way it was emotional armor, I didn’t feel anything, but not in a good way. If someone has no nerves in their hand they could hold it on a hot burner and not feel anything, they don’t think it’s effecting them because they can’t feel it but in reality the skin and muscle is being destroyed and great harm is being done, this was the condition of my heart. Now imagine that person burns down far enough to where they can suddenly feel it, you bet your buttons their not going to keep standing there like that! I was that person I had become, aware of the pain and what it meant but now there was a problem…….things hurt! So here I am realizing what’s been going on for 17 years and having no idea how to change anything. So I simply pulled out some brick and built a huge wall around my heart. Pain was being hurled at me everyday so to defend myself I put up a wall, I knew no better. It was there, huddled behind my wall that my bleeding heart turned to stone, my bottle cleaning attempts became as frustrated as my desire to be new and all hope burned out. But in His grace and mercy it was also there that my wonderful heavenly protector met me, in a place where I couldn’t change, didn’t even want to, He met me.

During this time in which I had been hiding behind my wall my relationships with people whom I care very much about had suffered greatly and I didn’t even know why. I began to panic I seemed to be hurting one person after another and it scared me horribly but I couldn’t change on my own. This resulted in me putting distance between me and everyone close to me. I built a wall around my heart to keep out the pain but ended up keeping out everyone else even the Father as well. Finally there was an explosion my wall was exposed and I cried out for help. Through this and the help of some ministry I received freedom, it was disgusting how much junk and unforgiveness came out, stuff I had no idea I had saved but was hurting me. I forgave people I had been holding accountable and received forgiveness from the Father. I realized I had been ashamedness to come to the Father because of all the junk inside me and I had cut Him out of the picture slowly, but with forgiveness came grace and mercy and the Lord did something I was unable to do….He emptied the bottle. Where I was unable to fix things He came in and totally washed me clean. He is so good:)

A few days after this I had worked these things out with the Lord I saw the most wonderful shooting star ever! It lasted so long I was able to get someone else to turn and look at it for like 30 seconds before it was gone, it was truly amazing! I knew the Lord was winking at me and reminding me that His promises are true really forever and always enough. This has been my journey the past few months. Daily He is teaching me to empty my bottle the minute something enters allowing for much easier clean up. Unforgiveness always gets revenge on you, bottles, will explode, but the grace of the Father is everlasting and for all time. Bottles full of junk create walls that wall out everyone not just the ones hurting you and in the end the love of the Father is much better when it can shine through an empty bottle…..

Well.....

Here's to the start of my adventure in blogging!! My first post will explain my blog name:)